Vacation Anyone?

I think I should take a vacation. And not to have surgery, which is my usual excuse. I went away for my 50th birthday and it was a disaster -- I got so sick I couldn't wait to get home. But I don't really have a home to myself any more, at least during the week. Celeste, my assistant, and her assistant (actually, her almost 6 month old daughter) Amieta, and my fabulous law student intern Dan work here full time. How can I take days off during the week and actually enjoy them with two other people working here, the phone ringing, and over 100 emails a day coming in?

Except for this week. I could have taken time off. I thought I would be having hernia surgery this week, but the surgeon in NY still hasn't read the CT scan, so the verdict is still out on that whole thing. And Celeste is out on vacation this week. And I talked Dan into taking the whole week for the law review write-on competition, which could have a big impact on his future. So there would be nobody here to cover for me.

I knew it would be a quiet week, but I didn't expect quite this much quiet. The phone's been still much of the day (I know, I'm jinxing myself). The mail was pretty thin. I'm waiting for medical records, but they haven't come in, so I can't work with them. So I have nothing pressing. Sure, there's always something to do, but nothing pressing.

I wish I were the kind of person who could just spontaneously take the day off when it's slow. Instead, I've worked pretty much all day. I've written a lot. I wrote July's newsletter, but you'll have to wait for that until next week, when at least some people will be back from vacation. Figured out some websites I've been meaning to take the time to figure out. Actually managed to post an announcement on Facebook -- a miracle since I find it so hard to navigate. I've been posting information about our chronic illness survey all over the internet. And the White House has a health reform briefing on the web at 5 pm, so I'll listen to that. It's good to have a catch-up day once in awhile.

But vacation. It eludes me. I don't want to go anywhere. I love my house, and then there's Emily, my feline buddy. I hate being gone from her. But it's a Catch-22 -- I can't take vacation when people are working here and it's busy because I couldn't possibly relax. And I can't take vacation when nobody's here because there would be nobody to cover for me. Haven't I just talked myself out of taking vacation EVER?

I say stupid things -- when the economy corrects, we'll move to real offices so I can have my house back. Or I'll just take a day and drive out to the part of Connecticut that I love the most, the hills of Litchfield County -- but we know I won't really do that.

So then the only time I can take vacation is when I have surgery?

Let's see -- do I have an appointment with my shrink this week? I need to make one. Jennifer